Into the maelstrom

Cover of the book, One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This, by Omar El Akkad. It has a red background and an image of child (likely a girl) facing away from us, holding flowers in their left hand, petals falling on the ground. Their right hand is raised up in the air, reaching towards a missile that’s coming straight down at them.

Y’all. This world is…something else. I am still moved to tears on a regular basis about what we (the US as well as other countries) are doing in the name of…what? Capitalism? I don’t understand, honestly, how people can continue to act as if nothing is happening. I am doing all the things I know how to do in terms of boycotting and avoiding companies. I am speaking up whenever and where ever I can. And yet I still feel…hopeless. And ridiculous as I try to make videos and write stories for children.

This week I read One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This, by Omar El Akkad. It’s a deeply personal look at the ongoing crisis in Gaza and the way we, as part of Western civilization are managing – whether we are complicit, witnessing or actively looking away. It was a tough read.

And yet, it’s not all dark. He writes about things people are doing, boycotting and walking away from jobs, students denouncing their universities and others refusing to participate with their dollars in other ways. He writes about the responses of those in power – their shock and dismissiveness. Here’s a quote:

“The idea that walking away is childish and unproductive is predicated on the inability to imagine anything but a walking away from, never a walking away toward—never that there might exist another destination. The walking away is not nihilism, it’s not cynicism, it’s not doing nothing—it’s a form of engagement more honest, more soul-affirming, than anything the system was ever prepared to offer.”

Even as I continue to participate in the ways I have been, I am going to shift my own language away from the things I’m resisting. From now on I want to focus on the things I’m turning towards, smaller businesses, local community and building stronger interpersonal networks. I’m turning towards the arts and whatever joy and understanding I can muster. What are the ideas you are turning towards in this maelstrom?

Image is of a lightning storm at night – it’s dark and cloudy and the lightning looks pink.

Books!

I love to read. I read a lot. I finish several books a week. I am nearly indiscriminate in my reading – except that I only read BIPOC authors for the past four years (alright, I admit I did read the new Stephan King and the new Dan Siegal). I read middle-grade and young adult and regular grow-up fiction as well as non-fiction. I read about racism, school organization, sleep, food, health, teaching, mental health, the “justice” system – really anything that catches my attention.  

Image of the top of my wordpress blog, bookspastandfuture with How to Be an Antiracist and The Hate U Give at the top.

I used to even have a blog all about books – Books Past and Future, I called it. I wanted to keep track of all the books I wanted to read and had read (no, never going to use Goodreads). The trouble was, I found it hard to write about every book.  

First, I personally am not a fan of reading the jacket. I like to be surprised by the story I’m reading, so I don’t want to spoil it for anyone else. If what you want is a summary, you can for sure find it out in the world.               

Secondly, because I’m mostly reading new authors and books I think were “pushed out” by the publishing world that suddenly realized that their BIPOC bookshelves were woefully thin – some of the books I’m reading aren’t…all that well edited.

I do not like to write a negative review, y’all, and especially because some of these books, even poorly edited, are sure to speak – LOUDLY – to folx who have not read/heard or seen their story ever in a book. And I want people to read them, both the people who see themselves represented there and also people who never knew that people like them exist in the world. The books on my website are all books I loved for one reason or another – just not always because of the writing itself.

I know I’m hard on books. Maybe because I’ve read a lot, I’ve seen enough really good writing to expect it from authors/editors. Maybe it’s because I’ve lived a lot of places and so can’t stand it when people don’t get the details right. Maybe it’s just because I’m judgey. I can own that.

What I’m trying to say is this: the books you’ll find on this website are legitimately #ownvoices; they are all books I have read; there are no summaries or reviews here, but I am always happy to talk about books I’ve read and make recommendations.

I believe that reading is a radical act, a way to broaden your world view without ever leaving your chair. It is a way to learn and to observe and to enter into someone else’s point of view. Over the years books have been banned (and still are) because people KNOW the power of words. I am encouraging y’all to read, widely and wildly. Let your imagination soar!

What are you reading? Make me a recommendation! Wanna talk books? Email me!

(banner photo shows a screenshot of my #ownvoices tab with Know My Name, by Chanel Miller, The Mermaid, the Witch and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall, How it All Blew Up, by Arvin Ahmadi, Slay by Britney Morris, Sanctuary, by Paola Mendoza and Abby Sher and The Good Luck Girls, by Charlotte Nicole Davis)

Legislation Matters

The HEARTS team met folks from Californians for Safety and Justice (CSJ) in April last year when they contacted us about AB2701, a bill that sought to create a state-wide grant program for providers of school-based trauma services using the HEARTS program approach as a model. Dr. Dorado and I worked with the team just before it was presented and I was excited to testify at a hearing about the bill. I went to Sacramento day before to see another hearing taking place and spent hours talking with members of the team about my testimony.

I was so nervous that morning that I was sweating even in the freezing cold courtroom. When it was finally my turn to talk, I literally had less than 60 seconds. For those of you who have seen me speak, you know that limiting my talk time was something like torture for me.

I felt like I was doing fine at first, and then the Committee Chair, Reginald B. Jones-Sawyer, Sr., smiled at me. I was thinking, “Yes! He’s totally interested in what I’m saying!” Then he made a little circle with his index finger in the time-honored sign for “wrap it up.” My last line was less than eloquent. In June we found out that the bill was held in the assembly appropriations committee, which meant that it wouldn’t move forward in that legislative session.

 Last week we heard from the team at CSJ again, and I met them to talk about Assembly Bill 258. This is a bill that they are working on that would increase in-school support services to pupils in order to break down barriers to academic success. I’m excited to work with this amazing group of people again and hopeful about the supports that might come of this work.

The fabulous team from CSJ out in front of the Women of the Resistance Mural on Balmy Ally.

Reading as Activism?

A couple of years ago, I was listening to an interview with author Jeff Chang (Can’t Stop Won’t Stop, Who We Be, We Gon’ Be Alright) when he said something that startled me so much I tried to rewind the radio. He said that after he signed on his new book the person who signed him retired, effectively cutting the number of Asians in publishing in half.

Half! Meaning there were only TWO to start with.

 When we say representation matters, we aren’t only saying we need more authors of color. It is also true that we need more people of color in the business of doing the publishing and producing (if you read Can’t Stop Won’t Stop you’ve already seen how that representation shapes the world of music/hip hop).

I wanted right away to be able to do something about this ridiculous news. The feeling of the world bearing down on me is frequent and fierce, and finding some kind of agency in that mess helps me hold hope. I thought about what one person can do for a long time.

My answer, in the short term, has been to read, purchase and recommend books written by people of color (almost) exclusively. Whenever I have a choice, I have opted for books written by and about people of color. Mostly this means fiction (because of the lack of representation in my professional field), but I have read some great non-fiction too.

What are you reading these days? I’d love to get recommendations.